I longed to have a child but trying for a baby can be just that -very trying. With each passing month I wondered more and more if my dream of being a parent would be no more than just that -a dream.
I have leaned on my family and friends for support more than ever. Trying for a baby and it not happening really took its toll on how I felt about myself, and after a particularly blue week I did make an appointment to see a doctor who gave me some options– medication, CBT, a holiday. So, my husband and I stopped ‘trying’ and decided that the best option was to blow a chunk of our baby savings on another dream -a trip of a lifetime to New York. The cliché continues and on the day of our return I did a test and it was positive. I did have some CBT and mindfulness therapy which just reinforced what I already knew: my thoughts and reactions were my own and I could control them… with a little bit of mindfulness.
I loved being pregnant. Labour was painful but my husband and mum were there and I am the proud mother of a beautiful seven-month-old little girl.
I definitely suffered the baby blues though: motherhood IS utterly overwhelming and NOTHING could have prepared me for it – the love, the fear, the motherly instinct that takes over everything… for a while. I seek support every day and I realised very early on that a parenting problem shared is a problem halved. I first went to BABY CAFÉ, a breastfeeding support group held at Gipton Methodist Church, when my daughter was three weeks old, the day my husband went back to work after paternity leave. I was terrified of being on my own. Seven months on I still go every Friday. We are each other’s therapists and we are in touch all day and all night if need be! They have given me the strength, confidence and cake that every new mum needs to raise a happy, healthy child.